he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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