i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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