Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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