Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
