No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
