Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
