: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
