pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
