so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
