So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i now understand why vodka
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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