i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
