Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
