Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
