oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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