i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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