can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
