What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
