Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
