Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Randomize
