she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
