I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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