I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
