If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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