worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
