I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
