Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
