O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
