That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
