Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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