OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
