Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
