am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
