So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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