So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
