i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
