It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize