my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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