whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
