Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I bet he comes in French.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
