Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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