To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
