My underwear smells like fireworks.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
