My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
