Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
