yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
