I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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