Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
