We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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