does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
