I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize