I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and she was petting her beer can
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
