Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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