Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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