She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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