Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
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Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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