i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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