She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My pussy is not your playground.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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