I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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