Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
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We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
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i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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