Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
