Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
