dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
