I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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