I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
